Sometimes I feel alone I feel sad and without a friend or like there’s no one around. I feel like the world is passing me by and others are moving on with their lives. I get lost in this faze idea that because my friendships don’t mirror the ones on tv and movies then I don’t have any friends. I feel this the most when I watch too much tv. For a time I was watching some very popular shows, reruns and movies that depicted the lives of black women. One show in particular showed them as successful hard working women in prominent roles but they seemed to have a lot of time to spend with one another. Often times movies and shows do that. They give us a false reality. So then there I was sulking because I felt like I didn’t have any real friends because we don’t do the things they do on tv. If you’re honest, you get caught up in a similar feeling like this too. As women, we even do it with relationship ( that’s a different blog topic). We see this fantastic life on tv and wonder why our life doesn’t look like that. The reality is that real life doesn’t look like tv life. So my reality won’t look like what’s on tv. The reality is I have so many people I know all across the globe. And I have great friends, many of whom I have a good relationship with.
Here’s a deeper issue, am I intimate with them? Am I vulnerable with them. Maybe I don’t feel connected because I don’t let many people into my world because I’ve been rejected and judged so much. I don’t really care too much about people judging me any more. Something happened in my brain around age 30 where I decided I just had to be me. Love it or leave it. But that rejection piece is something else there. Rejection can keep me from opening up and being myself with certain people. So this year I decided to be vulnerable. Fully aware of my emotions and feelings while sharing certain intimate parts of myself with others. Some will leave, some will stay, but others will connect to me in a deeper way than ever before! Those are the ones I’m looking for! So here’s to 2021 and vulnerability!
How has vulnerability impacted you? Leave a comment below to share your thoughts or reach out for help.
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