What does self love look life for you?
I know on Valentine’s Day, most people are talking about being with their boo, showing them how much they care on today and doing all these surprising proposals and romantic stuff. Most blogs and resources released today will talk about those things as well. Welp I decided to talk a different approach and talk about self love. How will you show yourself some love today? Many people are out here searching for love in someone else, and expecting someone else to love them the way they deserve to be loved, but they don’t even love theirself. Then when the person they were expecting to love them does them wrong they are mad. What if I told you your expectations for someone else to love you before you love yourself are too high? Seriously. I mean yes someone can come in and treat you better than anyone else has, and yes someone can be an amazing person to you. But finding self- worth, value, respect and love for yourself has to come from within. You won’t truly be satisfied in life until you find that love and appreciation of self.
So what is self love? Self love is simply caring about yourself and your happiness. It will look differently for each person, but should feel about the same. I bet most people will say, yes I love myself. But you would be surprised at the amount of time we dishonor ourselves, put others needs and wants before ours, and listen to the belittling inner critic. Self love impacts the way you treat yourselves and others as well as the way we allow others to treat us. It impacts the you we view yourself, and determines our future.
10 Signs to check your self love meter
You don’t share your true self with other
Overthinking your behavior
Seeking to please others
A strong fear that others are judging you or talking about you
You have a poor physical and mental self care routine
Inferiority complex
You diminish your accomplishments
Lack of confidence
Excessive need for affirmation and validation
Settling for less
Ok,21 how many people can really identify with this? At some point I could. And even now I still see ways that I can improve. But I am in a much better place than I once was. I have grown and changed so much from this space of low self esteem and lack of self love. So now are you wondering how I grew from this? Don’t worry I wont leave you hanging.
Growing to a place of self love can be hard. Especially if you have experienced abuse, neglect, abandonment and others of life’s hurts. But it is not impossible. Some instances may require therapy or counseling and a safe space to talk through these situations. Acknowledging there is a lack of self love is the first and most important part of this process. That means confessing to yourself and maybe even others that you have not always been kind to yourself. Acknowledging the ways the ways you have dishonored yourself ( i.e settling for less, letting someone walk all over you).
Let’s talk about what self love does look like. Self Love is an appreciation for self. It is a constant reminder to be kind to yourself and pay attention to yourself. It’s a vow to be in tune with your mind, body and spirit. Self love is a conscious effort to give attention to your needs and desires and meeting them, within reasonable limits. I don’t mean neglecting and abandoning responsibilities. But taking moments to yourself are more than ok. Here are a few tips if you are just getting started on your self care journey.
Acknowledge the ways you are lacking self love and care
Create, record and listen to positive affirmations
Appreciate the things you have accomplished and have
Reframe negative self talk ( change the narrative in your head)
Be patient with yourself
Maintain a healthy lifestyle ( mentally, physically and emotionally)
Take time for yourself
There are many things that can produce self love. This is just a broad overview of things to do. However, self love can looks so many different ways for every person. Find the self care plan that works for you. Here are a few questions to ask yourself:
DO I like to be with myself?
DO I enjoy myself?
Am I content being with myself?
Do I treat myself well?
Once you have asked yourself these questions you can begin to make some changes. Put a plan in place that allows you to begin to show yourself some love. Taking steps towards self love is not an easy process, it will take time and persistence. But it is worth it. Comment below or reach out for more tips and help creating your self care plan.
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